Helpful Tips for Invitations

Stationery Selection

When it comes to calligraphy, not all papers are created equally. Some beautifully textured papers may be less compatible with handwritten calligraphy, and some types of paper may cause ink to bleed. I recommend getting paper samples from your stationery supplier and am happy to test samples with any order.

Mailing Considerations

When choosing your stationery, note that irregularly sized or weighted envelopes may have higher postage costs. The USPS considers a standard letter to fit the following specifications:

• • Rectangular

  • At least 3.5 inches tall x 5 inches long x 0.007 inch thick

  • No more than 6.125 inches tall x 11.5 inches long x 0.25 inch thick

Only letters weighing less than 1 ounce can be mailed with a single 55¢ stamp, and first class mail should weigh no more than 3.5 ounces (for reference, one paperclip usually weighs ~1 ounce). Further information regarding mail standards can be found on the USPS website.

Feel free to share any concerns regarding mailing your invitations, and I will do my best to answer your questions.

Honorific & Title Etiquette for Envelope Addressing

Using titles in addressing envelopes for your invitations shows your respect for your guests and can help your event feel more formal and refined. However, navigating conventions for the proper title can be confusing. Furthermore, some conventions are outdated and best left in the past. As the host, what can you do to make sure you are not offending or excluding anyone? Follow my tips and guidelines below when creating your guest list.

1. Check with your guests! If you have any doubts, it is always easiest to ask your guests for their preferred title, and this simple step can save you from an awkward encounter. You know what they say about making assumptions...

2. Married Couples: Both names are included on the same line. Traditionally, the husband's name was listed first, but that is not a rule we need to keep in this day and age. You can also choose to list the person you have known longer first. For couples with different last names, list the names alphabetically.

3. Unmarried Couples Living Together: The two names are listed on separate lines, with the first-listed following the same conventions as with married couples.

4. "Doctor" and Other Distinguished Titles: Regardless of the gender or who you know better, the person with the distinguished title is listed first. If both parties have the same title, you can list the plural, "Doctors X and Y" or "The Doctors [Last Name]". Do not forget to check if the two parties share a last name. The same rules apply for military personnel, judges, reverends, et cetera.

5. Addressing Invites for Families: Children under 18 years old are usually not listed on outer envelopes with their parents' names. They would be listed on the inner envelopes by first name only. Girls may have the honorific of "Miss" though boys under 18 do not use an honorific. Less formally, you can address the envelope with "The [Last Name] Family". Be sure you know who lives together since this may imply the whole group is invited (i.e. extended family under the same roof).
   Not including childrens' names on the inner envelope may imply that children are not invited. On the other hand, some guests will assume children are welcome unless otherwise specified. My advice is to explicitly clarify by spreading the word among invitees and/or adding the "Adults Only" clarification on wedding websites or invites.

6. Children over 18: Adult children should receive their own invitation regardless of whether they are living at their parents' home.

7. Gender Neutral Pronouns: For a gender-neutral title, some people prefer to use "Mx." while others prefer not to use any honorific. Refer to tip #1 for how to choose the right term.

8. Plus Ones: For anyone allowed a guest, you may add "and Guest" after the invitee's name.

9. Finally, if all of this seems too complicated to navigate, keep in mind that titles are optional! Simply using first and last names will serve the same purpose.

Header Image by Valentin Balan